She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
