this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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