hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
