Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
