Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
pray to the hookup gods
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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