You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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