I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
