Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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