guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize