They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
