Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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