go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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