i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
