real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize