god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
ttyl tear gas
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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