the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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