M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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