you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'm sobbing to NWA
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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