i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
