what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Still dying that you shit outside
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
