i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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