So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
