last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
