You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize