I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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