And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
that may or may not have been my penis.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
