You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Randomize
