hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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