we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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