i just google imaged poop.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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