im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
