Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
