This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
