whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
