he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I just forgot I was standing up.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
