When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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