i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You can't just leave with hair like that
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
