You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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