So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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