So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
