And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
