mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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