I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
