He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
