Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize