My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
