idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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