chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
