It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
