i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
They have beer where we have blood.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
