Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
