Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize