We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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