think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
