i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
