Her vagina should come with caution tape.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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