I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
