My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
