as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
