Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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