remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I wear drunk well.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize