jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
