That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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