I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
