Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
