I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
cat food counts as protein by the way
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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