i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
