Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
